My three guiding
words for this year are Curiosity, Creativity, and Courage.
Curiosity is the route to growth. If I pay
attention to what feels stale, where I’m just going through the motions, what
bores me, and when I want to disengage, it’s amazing how quickly a new
invitation crosses my path. A class or workshop, a book or movie, a talk or new
friend invites me to wake up. If I don’t listen to these stirrings of restlessness
and discontent, I’ll have more difficulties until eventually I’ll be in
despair, flailing for relief. To keep my life as non-dramatic and chaos-free as
this world allows, I want to listen for the next stretch. Curiosity is a gentle
path to surrender.
It’s also
time to clarify what I want to learn, where I want to visit, and with whom I’d
like to spend more time. How exactly does a belief in something greater than
oneself facilitate abstinence and recovery from drugs, alcohol, shopping, food,
and other addictions that encroach on one’s freedom? I already have some books and
people to guide me. After being in the field of spirituality and
addiction for nine years, I’m ready to do my homework. (Reminds me of my time
at UT Austin, when, after prompting, I added the primary literature review
three weeks before my dissertation defense.)
After 30
years of practice, I want to learn more about meditation and have found even the
opening pages of Pema Chodron’s How to Meditate
helpful. I’ve signed up for a four week class at Common Ground to learn a Buddhist
approach to joy and equanimity from someone I identified as a potential teacher
on a five-day silent retreat years ago. Apparently, sometimes the next step
takes time to incubate and ripen.
Creativity will help me focus on writing and
publishing. I’d like my writing to be so honest that it’s risky—perhaps even controversial.
I hope to discover where I’ve censored myself to win approval, which I may only
notice after I’ve crossed a line. The joy of creating should build enough
momentum to make mistakes, forgive myself, and keep going. Creating something daily might alleviate the cravings for shopping and sugar that plagued me so last year.
I want to be
a better friend, and oddly enough that also requires courage. I’ll schedule a
conversation every week with someone dear, ideally without an end time, so we
can connect, meander and travel to new territory. That will be better than
therapy because it’s mutual, free, and I can sit in my favorite chair at home.
To live a
year of curiosity, creativity and courage requires a foundation of meditation,
journaling, mutual support meetings for my sobriety and abstinence, enough
sleep and exercise, and giving and receiving love and kindness daily. Plenty of
people are critiquing reality brilliantly.
In 2018, I’d like to offer glimpses of hope, strategies for renewal, and
invitations to connect.
What nudges
are you noticing that will help you live more fully awake to the wonders of
your life?
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