Perhaps because I’ve been on peaceful retreat for a week, I
was able to observe the beginnings of an inner disturbance and respond differently rather than only notice agitation once it’s moving too fast to stop.
This morning I observed my mind take me down an unhappy path,
and as I noticed anxiety and irritation rev up into a plan to get even or take revenge,
I decided to tune into wise mind instead. She told me, “The reason you feel bad is because
what you’re imagining isn’t true. Whenever you make up a story about someone
you love and feel bad, it’s an imaginary tale. Stand in the truth and you’ll be
calm immediately.”
I decided to change the story. I recognized the goodness of
the other person, his lack of malice and his faithfulness, and I took a deep breath. The
moment I unplugged from the hurtful, untrue narrative, I was able to see his
point of view and to wish him an enjoyable event. Instead of asking him to
change, I changed my perspective, and went on with my day at peace.
What We Focus On
Expands
If I can’t accept a circumstance or quality in someone close
to me (or far away, for that matter), then I need to look for some quality within them I can accept, or
focus on a different topic altogether. In looking for something to appreciate or even celebrate, I follow the gaze of loving kindness
that lives at our core, and in tuning into that, I access solutions I couldn’t
envision when I was so worked up about what is wrong.
There are always multiple things going on at any given
moment. Where is my attention? I know there’s plenty wrong in the world --injustices are happening to people everyday, the land is being abused, profit is put
before people, and too many of us are intent on accumulating more, swapping old
things for trendier, prettier things, when much of the planet doesn’t have basic
needs met. I know this.
And I am grateful to those who report, record, and analyze
these developments and ferret out the causes. I stay informed, share
information, and contribute to organizations working for change. But I cannot keep my attention solely focused on
these problems and be useful to others. That
doesn’t work.
Heeding Inner
Guidance
“Perhaps this is how you know you’re doing the thing you’re intended
to: No matter how slow or slight your progress, you never feel that it’s a
waste of time.” This line from Curtis Sittenfeld’s novel The Man of My Dreams reassures me. The work I feel called to do
happens with individuals, one at a time or in small groups. I help people make choices to contribute rather
than to critique, to create rather than to destroy, and to tune into their desire
to live fully and inhabit the edges of their own goodness. It’s the kind of vocation that rarely has a
visible or immediate outcome. I keep at it because every conversation matters
to me, even casual exchanges in the hallway.
I also work for a spirituality center that has as its vision,
“As each person is awakened to the sacred in all life, the world is
transformed.” I was there when we created this vision and I believe it more
than ever.
Imagine a world where every person sees what is precious in
everyone else, including animals, plants, work and creative efforts. How might
that transform our interactions, our communities, and our environment? Because
I can only change myself, I’m putting my energy, one person at a time, into
seeing the preciousness right in front of me, because no effort in that
direction is ever wasted.
