On the Eve of my Camino

Tomorrow I leave to walk the Camino in northern Spain.  I’ve had people ask if I’m going to blog, post on Facebook, go to meetings, call my husband or sister or sponsors.  No.  I plan to be silent as much as possible during this 10 day walking meditation retreat.  Sure, I’ll interact with other pilgrims along the way, have conversations with people from around the world, talk to inn keepers and shop owners in my rusty Spanish. But for the most part, I hope to be silent for hours on end listening to inner guidance, the still small voice, or the conversation of the natural world.

 I crave this silence even as I run pell mell from it during a typical day.  When I get on Facebook, time slips away and before I know it, my consciousness has ping ponged from political analysis to spiritual guidance, from friends who rejoice about weight loss to others who share heartbreak. Over the years I’ve curated my own life for social media consumption, and developed a habit of thinking in captions, imagining an audience response, and checking back frequently for comments and likes.  I don’t know how to moderate this habit, so I’m going cold turkey and taking a social media fast.

I’m walking for ten or so days because I want to slow down, to “move at the pace of guidance,” as Christina Baldwin so eloquently puts it, and to examine what’s underneath these desires to remove myself from the moment or intensify it.

I sit everyday for twenty minutes of meditation to improve my conscious awareness of how connected to Source I already am.  That connection never goes away, but my consciousness sure shifts throughout a day. Walking in silence, paying attention to each step on a stony path, putting a walking stick down before my feet move requires a level of mindfulness I don’t need to get through my usual world. Displacing myself, being physically uncomfortable and emotionally off balance because I have no plans or reservations, knowing no one, and being in the elements most of the day means I will have to draw upon inner spiritual resources for help and guidance.

Last night I found a shell, drilled a hole in it and threaded wire to attach it to my backpack.  That may not sound like a big deal, but I don’t use drills or cut wire, and so my journey is already underway, using new skills and what’s at hand to make do.