Growing One Nudge at a Time

Sunday I gave a talk entitled “Claiming Your Spiritual Progress.” I got a lesson on this topic that very morning when I put some eggs on the stove to boil for lunch. I put them in the usual pan when a quiet internal voice said “use a bigger pan.”  Here’s the progress: even though they were already on the stove, I transferred the eggs to a different pan.

Such a Know-it-All

Do you see how small this moment is? It’s progress because I have a tendency to ignore good advice, even when it comes from myself, let alone anyone else. I try not to make mistakes, hate to acknowledge errors, and am the kind of driver who, if I miss a turn, keep going because turning back is not an option.  I once missed an important event because I refused to retrace my path and follow the original directions, thinking I would just circle around to the right road eventually. I ended up too lost to even go home, eventually arriving at the meeting long after my scheduled portion.

Practicing Self-Compassion

The act of putting the eggs in a different pan acknowledged my initial mistake, and here’s the next moment of spiritual progress: I didn’t beat myself up for choosing a pan too small in the first place. Because I wasn’t in a shame spiral about selecting the wrong pan, I soon realized that I was boiling twice as many eggs as usual and so of course needed a bigger pan. (I’m very concrete when it comes to spatial relationships, despite my high scores on the Iowa Basic Skills tests in third grade, and so had to actually put the eggs in the pan to realize it was too small.)

Many of us notice our small mistakes all day long but don’t have the same facility in recognizing small successes. We’ve trained ourselves to be critical more than appreciative, and in the process, we’re missing out on savoring subtle indicators of spiritual growth.  Becoming open, curious, and gentle toward ourselves helps us notice the mundane ways we are changing and also tunes us to  the quiet inner guidance that gives us a nudge when we become complacent or in a holding pattern.  

Don't Wait to Arrive

Living a life of conscious growth comes from listening to and following those nudges, one at a time.

If I’m heading toward despair, it’s usually because my focus has shifted from small moments of progress to a larger movement that hasn’t yet occurred.  In other words, I’m looking at where I think I should be rather than appreciating where I am;.l,k.  These small movements can go unnoticed unless I set aside time to reflect on my day. When the process of moving toward what you want feels as good as getting there, you’ve arrived.