I’m off to my second retreat this month, four silent days of
Buddhist meditation. I’m pretty sure I’m
going to be stretched because, although I’ve been meditating for 30 years, I
never meditate on my own for days at a time.
I’m a corner-cuttter by nature and so sitting until someone else rings
the bell will be a discipline. Feelings I’m not used to will no doubt come up,
and I just need to remember that they won’t kill me.
This morning I had some intense body work done so that I
will be able to physically sit for several days (actually I use a prayer bench
and kneel rather than sit cross legged during meditation). I’ve also been reading John O’Donohue’s book Eternal Echoes to prepare for so much
time in stillness. He writes “Deep below
the personality and outer image, the soul is continuously at prayer. We need to
find new words to help name the unusual and unexpected forms of the Divine in
our lives.”
My hope for this time
in contemplation is to be surprised by what I find within, by the Divine moving
in my life. However, I plan to lean into whatever emerges--my resistance, my
judgments and my fears as well as any delight, discovery, and joy.
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