We moved
last weekend and so for the past month I’ve been in high gear, working a full
day, coming home to empty a house of 20 years’ accumulation and pack up. We’re also remodeling the kitchen in the new
house, and because it was just going to be cabinets and tile, I decided to be
the general contractor, a job for which I have no qualifications. I lined up a
cabinet installer, an electrician, a plumber and a tile installer. Things moved
according to schedule for about 4 hours.
Then the project got bigger and required rewiring, demolishing plaster
and lathe, re-insulating, dry-walling, painting, etc. Through the dust and
schedule changes I put in longer and longer days.
The
following events indicate that I am a step ahead of my body. I need to slow
down and become more mindful or the consequences can become worse.
One day on my third trip to Home
Depot, I parked not entirely within the lines.
A man in a pickup glared at me as I got out. I shrugged and walked into the store. There
were plenty of places to park. When I came out there was a note under my wiper:
“Learn how to park.” I laughed and
thought ok, I’ll pay better attention.
Later that night driving to purchase taller cabinets now that the
ceiling was higher, I turned on my wipers to learn I had no blade on the
driver’s side. I want to be generous and
assume it was an accident, but perhaps that man was angrier than I thought. It was quickly replaced at an auto parts
store on the way—little harm done beyond the inconvenience.
The next day I was in Cub grocery,
buying a sandwich, drink and chips for the drywall guy and went through
self-service because it was quicker. As I got out my debit card it flipped out
of my hand and landed in the crack between the bagging area and the scanner. I could see it but not reach it. Would we
have to dismantle the whole rig? The manager was able finally to ease it up
with chopsticks while I caught hold of it. He high-fived me with glee and I
thanked him for his creativity. Nothing
lost here except time.
Another night Brian and I were
heading home and stopped at Home Depot ten minutes before close to buy
essential supplies to seal the new tile and grout. I hopped out of his car
before he’d even stopped and ran inside to buy sponges. At the checkout I realized I didn’t have
gloves in my pocket. They’d been on my
lap—and sure enough, were lying in the road, run over several times.
None of
these consequences were dire, and I felt the support and connection of helpful
strangers in solving some of the problems. But this is not how my life normally
flows, and these taps on the shoulder could become 2x4s or even Mack trucks if
ignored.
I’ve always
loved Christina Baldwin’s line, “Move at the pace of guidance.” But to hear guidance I need to be spiritually
well-nourished and physically rested.
And I’ve been cutting corners on both. Even knowing that the antidote to
busyness is more stillness, this morning during meditation I realized it was
trash day, and I hopped up and spent the next 20 minutes gathering trash and
working outside before driving to work.
There’s an arrogance
in doing tasks before getting into alignment through writing, prayer,
and meditation. And this
morning, as I purchased breakfast because we don’t yet have a kitchen, I
decided to carry it to my office and work while eating rather than join others
at the table. I wanted to be efficient
with my time. As I entered my office, the plate hit the door jamb, shattered,
and food flew all over the carpet.
“It’s not getting better” I thought. And why
would it? Just understanding the problem is not the same as solving it. I have
to act differently to get different results. So I’ve written
about it, which I’ve wanted to do for days. And I’ll get to a meeting first
thing in the morning, after I’ve meditated, of course!
