Signs of Alignment

What adds to the delicious state of being aligned in body, mind and spirit? Seeing a confirming sign that that’s the case.  I still love catching a digital clock at 11:11.

After scratching my car two weeks ago, I’ve been more attentive to lining up spiritually before I take action.  I’m following Christina Baldwin’s advice to “move at the pace of guidance.”  For me, that requires more silence and more space in my schedule.

Last week I was working out of state, had fewer responsibilities with more time between them, and the opportunity to develop trust in Siri, my GPS system. The whole week felt magical and not just because I was near the ocean in bright sunshine.

One of the little signs that confirmed I was moving at the right speed came in a co-op gallery in Santa Monica. I was drawn to a glazed blue bowl because I’d been wanting a new bowl for cereal. When I turned the bowl over to see the price, I laughed.  The sticker had the price, which was reasonable, and JoAnn, the artist’s name.  I bought the bowl.

Another sign confirming my choices was at a meeting I attended. I had many options and randomly selected one. I arrived a few minutes early and introduced myself to the person next to me. He said “I know you. Don’t you work at Hazelden?” and there I was, thousands of miles from home, with a new friend.

These small indications might mean nothing to another person. To me, they confirmed that the time I’d devoted to getting centered and attending to my inner knowing was in right proportion for the day. And while I know I’ll be out of balance again--grouchy, critical, impatient, dissatisfied—knowing I can come back into alignment makes those times interesting rather than frightening.  

A Chance to Wake Up

The other day I backed out of my garage and down the driveway, as I have several thousand times, only to scrape the stone wall that runs alongside.  The rear panel of my car looks like a bear took a swipe, and the length of the scratches indicates I didn’t notice right away. That’s because my attention was on a cd of  a conversation between two writers, and I was trying to figure out who was speaking.  The topic of their conversation:  mindfulness.  Ah, the irony.

I get little nudges and lessons in the most obvious ways.  Or maybe it’s that I finally pay attention when the point is so obvious.  It’s not enough to read about mindfulness. Apparently, I have to be mindful every waking minute.

There’s a line in the Big Book “The spiritual life is not a theory. We have to live it.”  It’s so tempting to talk a good game and live on autopilot, especially with activities I do often and with people I know well. In terms of my colleagues and my husband, I need to see them anew every day, share what I appreciate,  and be really present to who they are today.

The lessons for long-term recovery are also clear.  I can’t just go to meetings, call a sponsor, complete daily spiritual practices as if checking them off a list.  I don’t have the luxury to become complacent or do sobriety half-way. I have a daily reprieve “contingent on the maintenance of my spiritual condition,” and that requires daily nourishment, which I receive only when fully present.

Each day I have an invitation to wake up another degree. Let’s hope I don’t need to be scraped to experience that today.